discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
