So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
