I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
