JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
