Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
