windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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