We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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