I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
FUCK WHALES
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
