i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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