My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Screwed.edu
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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