I just cut my nipple shaving
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
