ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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