no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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