I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
