? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize