Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
