She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
