O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize