you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize