Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
