fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
