watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
