dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
