I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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