We should be called the Road Head Warriors
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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