I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
