i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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