I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
