OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
