Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
