You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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