YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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