i was born a porn star she said
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
