ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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