i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
