exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
