I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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