I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I want to fling myself into the sun
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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