i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
