I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
