Porn is love you can see.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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