So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
