He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
