I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize