so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
