ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
