I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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