Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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