Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
