sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
