So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
