is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
