If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
