I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
