i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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