My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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