Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
