So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
