I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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